Posts Tagged ‘Fifa’

Here at the nest, with every landmark you get a free rant.  Unless you follow me on Twitter, you are probably wondering:  “Did Jpark die or fall off of the earth?”  The answer is neither, I have just been taking some other life goals (none of which will be discussed in the presence of our precious gaming site).  Anyway, today I have just won my 100th ranked game and I did it in style.  I have actually accomplished two personal landmarks by also getting my 100th win on a streak of 12 straight wins. Am I tooting my own horn?  ABSOLUTELY.  Why is that ok?  Hit the jump to get some of my feelings on hitting landmarks in gaming.


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Ever wonder why your buddy is so much better at video games then you are? Can’t figure out why games take you twice as long as some people? Well, there are a few simple things you can do to increase your chances of making the leap from n00b to 1337.

Take a Deep Breath

Patience is the ultimate virtue, especially in relation to video games. I know you are anxious to get the new hotness loaded and your avatar into battle, but take a deep breath, it’s not going anywhere. Before strapping up your M4 and getting smoked by people who are well versed in the nuances in the game, take some time to learn the basics. That is, KNOW THE CONTROLS.

This is accomplished by taking 5 minutes and reading the instructions. Or, if you are illiterate, check out the tutorial. If you are too stubborn to do either of these things, or if you think you are just. that. good. then you probably don’t need to read the rest of this (do it anyway) and you most likely will crush me. But chances are, you suck and need to read this, just like I need to write it. Bottom line is, walk before you run. Learn the game first so you can focus on the intricacies as you play.

Less obvious tips wait after the cut…


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Editors Note: These opinions should be taken with a grain of salt. The author is in the “suck” category.


The inspiration for this article came from repeated episodes of anger and heartbreak. All of these outbursts have come during instances that could’ve caused serious injury if I had followed out my wishes. I’m referring to high velocity controllers, approaching dangerous speeds when they explode against my wall in a dismemberment of plastic and wiring. What you’re probably wondering is why you can beat the AI or your friends consistently, but you get stomped against randoms online? Without further ado, here are the 5 reasons why you (and I) suck at sports video games on the interwebs.


    5) Matchmaking: This one is a no-brainer and probably my biggest folly. Uh hey guys, how many of you just click Quick Match and then get thrown on for 400 yards passing 200 rushing? Which one of you just click Quick Match and then get scored on 4 – 0 in Fifa09 match? Only then you realize the only reason the game isn’t 6 – 0 is because your opponent is humiliating you; attempting chip shots from the top of the box, going full speed, as you battle to try and slide tackle him from behind before its too late.

Hit the jump to see the last four reasons why you suck… 

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So after playing some epic battles of Fifa tonight, and with the promise of going back to CT to play more, I have decided to scour (google/youtube) the internet to find you some cool hints for fifa. Well, actually, here’s a video showing you how to do the various celebrations:

Check out a text doc here

Lastly, heres a video with some sweet moves. Check out YouTube for more, as usual.

That’s it for now, 3 cheers for a short day tomorrow and then mmmm…turkey.

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